Our own worst enemies ?

January,  a time of year when we all have the best of intentions.  So many of us join a slimming group, we join the gym, we go out and get a new wardrobe full of awesome looking workout clothes, and we may even buy that inspirational item of clothing that we know in just a matter of weeks we will be able to squeeze into !!

Or at least thats how we have it planned out in our head, I mean how hard can it be? cut out the crap food, and move a bit more, so so simple right?  wrong. 

I've commented before about how, in my opinion, the vast majority of fitness professionals working with overweight people totally and utterly lack the first vital step to helping someone - being able to understand their emotional connection and behaviours with foods, their emotional motivators in wanting to overeat, binge etc.  It really really disappoints me when I see posts like " Eat Less, Move More" - to me, this is such a stupid, ignorant statement to make.  Those struggling with their weight are often the most knowledgeable about what they need to do to loose it - yet, they still struggle - why? 

Well, and this is speaking from my own experience too - they key reason I feel is that most people who are overweight and who are attempting to shed some fat become their own worst enemies without a true understanding of why. This is something I have spent the past few months thinking about, I've spent so much time thinking about myself and my clients I work with and about the behaviours that are counter productive to the end goal of fat loss.

I will use myself as an example, by now hopefully you will know I am always as honest as possible in relation to my own successes and challenges, and the topic of this blog is one which has personally caused me so much frustration. 

Like a lot of people I go through phases, where I am uber good, and then disastrous with my workouts and eating.  Almost as though I am going through seasons of efforts.  For example if I look at 2013 I can pinpoint the months I was good and those I wasn't.  It went along the lines of January to April, I was so good the new year motivation kicked in and I was focused and determined, come April and May I was like " eugh f**k this its too much effort just give me food" and even though I 100% knew this was going against everything I was trying to work towards - I still would eat anything in sight - without thinking twice, why? as it was nice and tasty - plain and simple. 

Then from June until the start of August again I was so focused, as I had my holidays were coming up, 3 weeks in America and i wanted to feel a bit more comfortable for the beach etc. So holidays came and obviously my first trip to America was going to be a gastronomical delight filled festival ! And that it was, so then when I got home again I was in the mindset of getting back into my routine from October..... but that didn't happen, then November came, then of course it was December and time for Christmas and heaven forbid I couldn't start then.  And alas now we are in January and I am doing my best to get back into a routine that I am comfortable with that will support my goals.

Now, this all sounds so so silly, I mean I know exactly what I need to do and how - for heaven sake I've done it before, and am a qualified Personal Trainer - but why on earth is it not happening?

Well, through all my thinking over the past few months and from speaking with people who are struggling to stay on track - one of the main conclusions  I have come to is that, people who are overweight do genuinely have a desire to change things and to reach X weight or X size - but the reality is that being overweight and the routine of eating X or Y and not having to workout is the easier option.  And I don't say this lightly, and I don't say this meaning people are lazy or people don't want to achieve - they do, they absolutely do - however the level of commitment and consistency that's needed to achieve most peoples goals become so over whelming that they almost give in to the fact they are destined to be overweight rather than try to understand their own emotional connections with food. 

Obviously we are all to aware of the risks associated with being overweight / obese - however in the same way a smoker knows the damages they are causing themselves - I do 100% believe that food is a drug and that before you simply go cold turkey and diet to within a calorie or your life - you need to take time to prepare yourself mentally, so that you can become comfortable with the commitments needed for you to achieve success. 

You need to understand YOU.

This might sound very airy fairy - but I do believe that once you come to understand WHY it is you do what you do, and how to change this behaviour that you are setting yourself up for failure and the start of a vicious circle of the never ending attempts at dieting. 

So then, how do you get to a position whereby you do understand yourself and can manage those situations whereby you might be self-sabotaging ?  

Become comfortable with putting YOU first.  make time for yourself, and whilst I do mean for things like going for your workout, or preparing your meal, I guess I moreso mean making time for you to have headspace time.  This could be when you get to go for a walk, do some meditation, or to simply sit in silence for half an hour and have some time with yourself.  You should be prioritising yourself so that you are allowing yourself time to regularly think about what it is your doing and to evaluate how things are going, and to become comfortable with the idea that you are trying to change something pretty big in your life, also use this time to revisit your views on the future and to visualise those things you have listed as being important in terms of why you are doing what you are doing. 

Honesty I think is also one of the main factors - being honest with yourself and those around you about why you wish to slim down, what are the exact reasons as to why you want to lose weight ? What will life be like day to day when you achieve your goal? What will you be able to do then that you can't do now?  These aren't things you should be able to answer straight away  - if they are you probably haven't thought about them enough. These desires to achieve these things should be so strong that they become your goal and reasons for the changes in your life as opposed to wanting to achieve a figure on a scales.

As with business, I'm a firm believer in that you can't manage by numbers.  You need to look at what drives the numbers, what behaviours are going to need to change and how do you make them change? Maybe this is seeking professional support, maybe its having  friend you can 100% trust and be open and honest with, or maybe its keeping a journal - everyone has different approaches.   

Finally, I think it's also extremely important to know when to ask for help - who is going to be your support on this journey? Who can you be totally honest with, and in those moments whereby you feel sh*t and just want to eat every piece of crap around you - who is it you can talk to about this.

So, don't become your own worst enemy - you need to in essence be your best friend and ensure you are setting yourself up for success physically, nutritionally but most of all - mentally.

-  Prioritise you - allowing time not only for workouts and nutrition, but also headspace time for you.

-  Think, the goal you are currently working towards - do you REALLY actually want to achieve it, or are you doing it become others / society / magazines make you feel you should.  You doing things for YOU is whats important. 

- Identify your support network, this could be 1 person or it could be 5, who are the people you 100% can be honest with, without exception. 

- Ask yourself, do you think you will always be overweight and are destined to be? If you answer yes to this, then you 100% need to focus on your mindset and mental approach to your weight loss before you commit to other changes as otherwise you are going through the motions for the sake of it.  You need to understand and truly believe that you deserve to achieve things - without question and without exception. 

To finish.... here's a video I found recently focusing on " What defines you?", it's fantastic.